TOYS

TOYS 

Barbie, Winnie the Pooh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers, stuffed animals, Lego’s, Lincoln Logs, Etch-a-Sketch, Mr. Potato Head, plastic Army men, Slinkies, Barney, Elmo, Dora the Explorer, puzzles, Monopoly, Clue, Mario.

Bring back memories from your own childhood? Cause you to mumble under your breath today? To your children, these popular toys and many more are treasured friends who spark their imaginations, lead them into hours of fun, and help them learn. However, as a parent they may be something you trip over and just one more thing that needs picking up at the end of the day.

Fortunately, Barbie, Barney & company can become more than fond memories; they can become allies in the quest to teach your children good organizational skills that will stay with them long after the toys are retired to the attic or have found other homes.

Simply follow a few basic concepts and model the behavior you want your children to learn. Here’s how:

1. Take inventory of the toys you already have.

Most of us acknowledge that our children have too many toys. This creates frustration for child and parent alike. Too many toys equals the need for too much need for management and control. Although it may seem odd, this bounty is also the culprit behind the ever-popular complaint: “I don’t have anything to play with.”   

You are the gatekeepers of what comes in and out.  True, you can’t totally control what comes in on birthdays and holidays.  However, you control how many items are placed where children can reach them and play with them. You already use this concept with other purchases.  For example, you purchase a variety of items during your weekly trip to the grocery store, but do you put them all out to eat at once?

2. Initiate an inventory reduction.

Just as that much food would be overwhelming, thirty toys are overwhelming for a child.  Reduce the number to ten, and put the other twenty on a shelf out of the child’s view and reach.  While ten doesn’t sound like a lot of toys, it is usually enough, especially if you keep the accessories with the main toy, i.e. Barbie clothes with the Barbie, Ninja Turtle gear with the turtles.

Be careful to let the child know that when you take the toy away, nothing is going to happen to it. You might say something like, “when there are too many toys out, there is not enough room to set up your doll house.”

If the child still can’t find anything to play with, ask the child what it is she specifically wants to play with. If she can’t think of anything, tell her when she thinks of something to let you know. If she says, what I really wish I could play with is the Lincoln Logs, tell her that is a great idea, bring them out, and then ask what she would like to put away. Don’t forget to put away one item for each one taken down.

After so long ask your child if she is ready to bring out another toy. Again, bring out the toy she requests and ask what she wants to put up. This teaches her the idea of rotation.

Eventually you may say to your son that you notice he is not playing with the spin and talk, and ask if he is willing to donate it? Even if he says no, you are still proposing an idea that he will be processing: Eventually, the toy will leave the house.

3. Model the behavior you want.

In the beginning, do everything together. You are the model and are teaching your children what to do and how to do it.  

This may not be as easy as it sounds because you think like an adult and your child thinks like a child. It is easy for adults to get caught up in a desire for perfection – for each toy to be perfectly lined up with every related piece. So the question becomes: what is the goal when picking up toys? Do you want perfect order or do you want to begin the process of learning organizational skills for your children?

If it is the latter, remember that in a child’s world, large figures can play with small figures. Children will not devise the same categories as adults. A large stuffed animal may go perfectly well with a small action figure.

4. Make giving a part of the process.

Holidays and birthdays are a great time to not only help children with their organizational skills but also to start building empathy and the idea of giving back.

When birthdays are coming, let the child know that if he should receive gifts on his birthday, he needs to think about what toys should leave. Once the party is over and he has new gifts, you can explain that he has been blessed. Then take a gift bag and let him choose a toy to give away.  Your child is learning two things: He can’t keep everything that comes into his life, and giving is a good thing.

Again, reinforce this with modeling the behavior on your part. Choose items you no longer need, to donate as well. You might even pull out several items and have the child choose which two you should donate.

There is one exception to this. If children really love a stuffed animal or a specific toy, never force them to give it away, even if it is grubby or missing an ear. This toy is dear to their heart and that would be akin to giving away a friend. We all have items like that, a high school letterman’s jacket, for instance, that we will never fit in again but bring back incredible memories.

Try to make this a monthly event. Throughout the cold months, food banks really need food. Shop in your pantry with your child and let him or her choose items to donate.  As the child gets older, let him pick out $5 worth of food at the grocery. You may give $20 worth of food, but the child is responsible for $5 of it.  As a bonus, the child also learns a little math.

This monthly schedule also works well for the rotation of toys and for putting like items together. If there are pieces to a puzzle or animation figures missing a leg, put the items into a box labeled misfits. When you find the rest, you will know where the missing part is.

Once a month is also a good time to intentionally put all the accessories with the toys. Put the Ninja Turtles together. Find the Barbie doll shoes. Replace missing batteries. Speaking of which, you should always have batteries in stock just as you have food in stock. Another unrelated suggestion: When you give a gift to another child that requires batteries, give the batteries as part of the gift. That thoughtfulness will mean a lot to the parents and allow the child to immediately play with the new toy.

This time investment works wonders. It will go a long way in managing your household while also empowering your children as young adults later. Barney would be proud.